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FDP Forum / Moe's Tavern (_8^(I) / If you're gonna steal a car, don't just steal a car.

Peegoo
Contributing Member
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If irritation occurs

discontinue use.
Jul 11th, 2019 09:32 PM   Edit   Profile  

Go big or go home, I always say.

These chowdermonkeys (link below) know how to party: the police stopped them because the tag on their vehicle was expired. Turns out the car was stolen. Also found in the vehicle with the two perps:

-A big ol' bottle of Kentucky Deluxe whisky

-A loaded firearm

-A live rattlesnake

-A container of radioactive uranium

Makes me proud to me an American because I've traveled the world...and *nobody* parties like we do.

You think Octoberfest in Munich is off the hook? Yawn.

Leftee
Contributing Member
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VA

The Escalator
Jul 11th, 2019 10:06 PM   Edit   Profile  

Florida man got nuttin’ on him!

Pinetree
Moderator Emeritus
(with many stars)



Jul 11th, 2019 10:41 PM   Edit   Profile  

"There are no charges from the rattlesnake either."




Taildragger
Contributing Member
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USA

an acquired taste some may never acquire
Jul 11th, 2019 11:39 PM   Edit   Profile  

A party without uranium ain't much of a party...

Peegoo
Contributing Member
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If irritation occurs

discontinue use.
Jul 11th, 2019 11:55 PM   Edit   Profile  

Update:

Turns out the uranium was okay to possess; they bought it on Amazon.

America: what a country!

Ragtop
Contributing Member
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The older the violin

the sweeter the music.
Jul 12th, 2019 04:42 AM   Edit   Profile  

Sounds like it could have been written by Hunter S. Thompson.

Were the carpets soaked with ether?

Peegoo
Contributing Member
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If irritation occurs

discontinue use.
Jul 12th, 2019 05:46 AM   Edit   Profile  

That's a good comparison!

"The only thing that scared me was the ether."

Gato
Contributing Member
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Southern Calif

Jul 12th, 2019 05:58 AM   Edit   Profile  

Other wacky stuff you can buy on Amazon:

roast beef sandwich bath soak

earthworm jerky

tennis ball with a head strap

a pound of replica human fat

inflatable unicorn horn (for cats)

a life size cut out of Danny DeVito

plastic bubble pack containing nothing (this one may compete with the KISS air guitar strings)

a stick-on bacon scented mustache

a wall decal of senior citizens in a golf cart

free delivery

K4
Contributing Member
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Being defenseless

does not make you more safe
Jul 12th, 2019 06:46 AM   Edit   Profile  

Here

39.95

Taildragger
Contributing Member
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USA

an acquired taste some may never acquire
Jul 12th, 2019 09:08 AM   Edit   Profile  

"Sounds like it could have been written by Hunter S. Thompson."

What a coincidence: I just pumped my tires up to 80-PSI!

RKSTRAT
Contributing Member
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USA

"Clapton is Good"
Jul 12th, 2019 10:48 AM   Edit   Profile  

Yeah, what makes it funnier is that most of the stuff was legal in Florida!!!

I guess the gun was a problem, as he had a prior.
DUI or just open container?

hushnel
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North Florida

A Friend of Bill W.
Jul 12th, 2019 10:52 AM   Edit   Profile  

“Makes me proud to be an American”

Thank’s, best laugh I’ve had in a while.

Damn, it’s still cracking me up,

(This message was last edited by hushnel at 01:00 PM, Jul 12th, 2019)

Peegoo
Contributing Member
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If irritation occurs

discontinue use.
Jul 12th, 2019 11:51 AM   Edit   Profile  

"I just pumped my tires up to 80 psi."

Did they sound like teakwood when you rapped them with the baton?

Taildragger
Contributing Member
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USA

an acquired taste some may never acquire
Jul 12th, 2019 12:59 PM   Edit   Profile  

Excuse me, but could you repeat that? I had just taken my shirt off and was pouring beer on my chest, to facilitate the tanning process...

BlondeStrat
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Las Vegas NV

Can't complain but sometimes I still do
Jul 12th, 2019 09:02 PM   Edit   Profile  

True story from just day before yesterday:

Guy hanging around valet about 3:45pm. Sees a convertible Bentley pulled forward in line to be parked (keys in car).

The guy jumps in the car and drives off. Up Las Vegas BLVD a ways he runs it into a post and gets out.

He steals another car, this time a Ford.

The Bentley is found about 7:30pm and is towed back to our property.

About 10:30pm the same guy is seen loitering near valet and security asks for ID. He is identified as a guy we had trespassed a few days prior. He was also identified as the guy from the Bentley theft earlier.

Seems maybe the guy did not like the Ford and was looking upgrade to a better car.

Here's the really crazy part.

The guy had been trespassed from our property for assaulting an officer in an elevator. The officer was a fellow day shift officer and I had actually responded to that assault call when that event occurred.

Hopefully he stays in jail for a while this time around.

Our officer came out of that elevator pretty well bloodied up. :(

(This message was last edited by BlondeStrat at 11:04 PM, Jul 12th, 2019)

mfitz804
Contributing Member
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Staten Island, NY

Our resident rational liberal
Jul 12th, 2019 09:24 PM   Edit   Profile  

“-A live rattlesnake

-A container of radioactive uranium”

Sounds like someone was trying to make themselves into a superhero.

RKSTRAT
Contributing Member
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USA

"Clapton is Good"
Jul 12th, 2019 09:24 PM   Edit   Profile  

Wow Blondestrat! What you LEOs have to deal with!

How does the handoff work with casino security?

Seems like the casino should have some muscle watching
over the vehicles.

(This message was last edited by RKSTRAT at 11:25 PM, Jul 12th, 2019)

BlondeStrat
Contributing Member
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Las Vegas NV

Can't complain but sometimes I still do
Jul 12th, 2019 09:43 PM   Edit   Profile  

RKSTRAT, that day the guy was convinced by a very skilled officer to submit on his own. Obviously if you can simply have them allow you to cuff them it a lot better deal for everyone.

In the event where a security officer is assaulted we end up with quite a crowd on the scene very quickly.

It becomes clear no matter the size of the perp ... He may not know how many of us it will require, but he can plainly see that we have enough. 😜

Leftee
Contributing Member
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VA

The Escalator
Jul 12th, 2019 10:34 PM   Edit   Profile  

The perps studied Spider-Man in science class in high school.

You feed the snake the uranium. But you don’t let the snake bite you. That would be stupid.

You take its super-venom and make gummies and suppositories.

FDP Forum / Moe's Tavern (_8^(I) / If you're gonna steal a car, don't just steal a car.




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