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FDP Forum / Moe's Tavern (_8^(I) / survey--do you worry all the time?

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jefe46
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State of Jefferson

Nov 4th, 2017 05:55 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Yes. Profoundly so.

Primarily about the welfare of my daughters and my wife.

I also worry about the deterioration of morality, ethics, and respect.

What the hell happened to my country in the last 60 years.





hushnel
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North Florida

A Friend of Bill W.
Nov 5th, 2017 09:27 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

“But it's like this---I get some good news. Most people will celebrate. I think to myself '...oh oh this can't be right...something bad's gonna happen..."

I used to think that, it seemed that disaster was always on the heels of good fortune. Then I figured out I was just letting my guard down and marginally increasing my behavioral risks.


BlondeStrat
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Las Vegas NV

Can't complain but sometimes I still do
Nov 5th, 2017 09:50 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I'd have to say, worry being stipulated and *negative attitude*, the opposite being positive attitude ...

A positive attitude is difficult for a person to just put on in the morning and sustain.

In my World a positive attitude is something a person develops. A positive attitude is acquired through the experience of repeated successes.

Sounds counter to my comments a few posts up doesn't it. ;)

I don't think it is though.

What that theory does is keep one from getting too emotionally low when things don't work out and a great many things in life don't work out, at least they don't work out exactly as initially planned.

A great deal of negative perception on things can come from a person having a demanding expectation of perfection or an exact result and then the World hands out something different or something less.

This is where assuming a negative result helps me keep those situations in perspective.

You always plan for and prepare for success because every now and then perfection will land in your lap and you darn well better be capable of embracing it when it does.

As I have said before on the FDP ... Life is often a crap shoot ... One has to be able to handle it, all of it, both the good and the bad.

(This message was last edited by BlondeStrat at 12:09 PM, Nov 5th, 2017)

littleuch
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Florida

I'm not as clever as my dog thinks
Nov 5th, 2017 11:37 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

A nod to a close friend and former bandmate seems appropriate here.

"...it's gonna take a fistful of donuts at least to easy my..."

Worried Mind (Steve Kilpatrick)

jefe46
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State of Jefferson

Nov 5th, 2017 01:43 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

The word "standard" just came to mind.

The standard is now "y" instead of "x" and the standard is low.

My expectation is that everyone should play by the rules, and historically more people did than didn't. Now I believe there is a reversal called what ever I can get away with (apologies for the preposition at the end)

A perpetually positive attitude is IMNSHO ignorance, apologetic, and naivetee and ignoring reality.
A positive attitude developes from denial and a refusal to accept facts in order to deceive one's self into think it's all ok man.. groovy. It ain't ok and it's not groovy.

The takers have now exceeded the givers.

(This message was last edited by jefe46 at 05:04 PM, Nov 5th, 2017)

K4
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Being defenseless

does not make you more safe
Nov 5th, 2017 10:30 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I only read the OP's post.

I live by this code.

If there is something in my life I think I need to worry about I ask a question.

, can I do anything about it?

If yes I do it. If no I don't worry about it, because I cannot do anything to change it.

Easier said than done but my worry time is around 5 minuets a week.

I am a much happier person because of it.



Ryder
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Northwest Missouri

Butterscotch Blues
Nov 6th, 2017 07:03 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

No worries


Blondie
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Youngstown, New York

Live Free or Move
Nov 6th, 2017 07:28 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Larry, as far as the constant state of worry and stress is concerned, you and I might as well have been cut from the same cheese. I am also an attorney not surprisingly. There is nothing like the continual juggling of multiple litigation dates, deadlines (as mfitz pointed out in this thread as well), witnesses and documents to ruin a night's sleep. I feel as if I'm constantly juggling more and more objects, and of course it's malpractice and the possible end of my livelihood should even one of them hit the ground.

Between work and money (meaning the ever-present microfocus on every dime to be sure Mrs. B and I have enough to pay health insurance and taxes), my normal state is heavy stress. Makes it hard to enjoy life sometimes.

My father was a worrier until the day he died last year, I watched it happen and knew that would more than likely be me someday. Due respect to my old Da, but he had some trouble practicing what he preached. He would tell me to avoid worry by focusing on the long term, while at the same time living every minute in the short term in a constant state of worry about money, career, etc.

I have always and simultaneously admired and resented those who can live the so-called "serenity prayer" - i.e., 'Lord help me do the things I can control and accept the things I cannot control.' The very fact that I cannot control or precisely predict something is a constant source of strain in itself.

orrk01
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USA / Saint Paul, MN

Nov 6th, 2017 07:58 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

My favorite Mark Twain Quote.

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."

jay1vinton

Hawaii, USA

Perfect is the enemy of good enough
Nov 6th, 2017 05:11 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I do believe that your surroundings, your relationships, etc. have a distinct impact on your worrying.

When I lived in Texas with my then wife, I worried incessantly about finance, mostly caused by her. It was actually debilitating. Then I actually worried about her, her fidelity, her abuse of drugs, etc. It caused quality of life to tumble for me.

Now, as I have lived in Hawaii for almost two decades, I find myself having no fiscal worries, and realizing I cannot change what may be a strain.

walshb
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Manchester, TN

12,423 Mustangs passed and counting
Nov 6th, 2017 07:03 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

" I say that as someone who used to beat himself to death with chronic worry."

Same here. 99% of the things I worried about never happened; therefore, I attempted to worry about everything I could think of, just to "prevent" them from happening. ;) My mother is the same way, except that she never changed.
I finally realized what a waste of time and effort that was. No, I can't say that I don't worry any more, but compared to how I was for all those years.... I'm much more carefree, by most standards.

scott-s
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juneau ak.

If you must smoke, please smoke salmon!
Nov 6th, 2017 10:20 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Larryguitar 19, I used to not worry too much but I do now, you see my wife of 26 years is also an attorney and has decided to rent herself an apartment and move out of our home, that happened 2 weekends ago and after being in a dysfunctional marriage for a number of years it was probably time. My 14 year old boy who wished to stay with me put it like this "I don't know anyone who can vex me as bad as mom does, I love her but can't understand what she's thinking"

What he doesn't understand is that this is phase 1 of an exit strategy that she has been planning for some time, attorneys never do anything without careful consideration: exhibit A, Guilt tripping me into annulling our Prenup two years ago. exhibit B, Trying to have her name put on a Deed of property that was still in probate (The law firm handling the Estate of my Mom refused this request Thank God! that was also about two years ago. Exhibit C She has had her best friend in California looking for a house close to hers, I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

The biggest mistake I could ever make at this point is to underestimate my wife, or believe she'll be "nice" to me. She is intelligent and plays to win and is very good at what she does so right now I have a lot on my plate. This can only end two ways. It takes TWO people to decide if they want to remain in a relationship but it only takes one person to decide to end it.

Here is what I tell myself to calm down a bit. I came into this life owning nothing, I couldn't control when in the history of time I would be born, I couldn't control what sex I would be, what the color of my skin would be, what country I would call home, who my parents were or if they would love me or could care less for me. I didn't even choose to be born but here I am.

I realize there are many things I can't do much about and that's true with everyone but like some of the other posters here have pointed out it's important to be able use worry and to listen to the very real harm and loss that is close by and threatens our well being. I've been worrying a lot lately, about things that are real enough and staring me right in the face.



larryguitar19
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South Florida

larryguitar
Nov 6th, 2017 10:45 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

You guys are great. Just knowing I'm not alone in this does give me a certain amount of comfort.

K4
Contributing Member
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Being defenseless

does not make you more safe
Nov 7th, 2017 12:20 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

"I've been worrying a lot lately, about things that are real enough and staring me right in the face."

Does worrying help in any way?

Does worrying hurt you in any way?

Ask this question,

Can I do anything to make this situation better?

If the answer is yes, DO IT!

If the answer is no, why worry, it won't make it any better. It will only make you miserable.

Warren Pederson

Canada

Nov 7th, 2017 01:14 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Eckhart Tolle changed my life immensely, The Power of Now/The New Earth. I scour for extra copies at used book stores to give to friends and co-workers who need this. Everyone can benefit hugely by reading those two books, again and again. Once you read them it could almost be considered laughable when you pop into awareness and realize there's all this garbage that you're allowing to suck the everloving life out of you.

scott-s
Contributing Member
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juneau ak.

If you must smoke, please smoke salmon!
Nov 7th, 2017 01:30 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

As much as I would like to I'm not able to push worry fear and anguish aside so easily.

Fear and worry are like an early warning system, they aren't the problem they are more like the signalers letting you know problems COULD occur or are occuring.

You are right when you ask "Can I do anything to make this better? Yes,the fear of losing a fare amount of my a$$ets is pushing me to seek some good financial and legal help.

pombrio

USA

Nov 7th, 2017 05:24 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I'm facing job loss in the next few months, all health benefits are through me, one kid studying abroad, one ready to graduate. Yeah, I have worries. I'm trying to pick and choose my battles and always thought I could contain the stress. Not so. Stress will find a way to rear it's ugly head and it has lately in my health.

I'm also worried because it just dawned on me that I'm the only one on this website that is NOT an attorney...

Hammond101
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So. Cal. USA

Nov 7th, 2017 09:44 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I was introduced to this a long time ago. It hung in a friend's house when I was young. His mother had been through a program.

I've always tried to keep this in mind when things get a little rough. My take has always been, "I'm still alive, right?". I'll be alive until I'm not. Why worry.

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

larryguitar19
Contributing Member
*****

South Florida

larryguitar
Nov 7th, 2017 03:55 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Worrying is not exclusive to attorneys. But there is something about the profession that makes it a particular problem.

If you practice law and go through life not constantly looking over shoulder for the next threat then there is something wrong with you.

It's the job description. We are paid specifically to predict the worst possible outcome and be genuinely surprised when things turn out well.


pombrio

USA

Nov 7th, 2017 06:16 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I thought it was just from a guilty conscience!
I kid, I kid. Please don't sue me.

;)

Previous 20 Messages  

FDP Forum / Moe's Tavern (_8^(I) / survey--do you worry all the time?




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