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FDP Forum / Moe's Tavern (_8^(I) / survey--do you worry all the time?

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larryguitar19
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South Florida

larryguitar
Nov 3rd, 2017 10:40 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I'm curious how extensive this is.

I freely admit I worry all the time.

Part of it is my profession--I'm an attorney---and therefore programmed to imagine worst case scenarios in order to protect my clients.

Another part is probably genetics. My mother was certainly a worrier. I can recall waking up at 3 am and she would be sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee smoking a cigarette generally staring into space.

And the rest of it I cannot explain. I tend to start the day looking for threats and then go immediately into an assumption this will lead to disaster--even though it never does. Rather what happens is it passes and I move on to the next perceived disaster.

I think a large part of it is a false belief I am so smart and in control of things that if anything goes wrong I immediately blame myself and do not let myself off the hook ever. I"m always saying, "you should have seen it coming and you have nobody to blame but yourself'.

It's not debilitating. I function and in fact people load me up with their problems because they know I can handle a tremendous load of stress. Generally I conceal it. I find you tend to empower people if they sense you seek assurances you are doing fine. You have to always be the guy who doesn't let anything get to them.

But I think I pay a heavy price for that. The net result is a life with not a whole lot of peace.

So what do you guys think? Is it me or are there others like me?

(This message was last edited by larryguitar19 at 12:43 AM, Nov 4th, 2017)

Chris Greene
FDP Host

Idaho, USA

Nine mile skid on a ten mile ride
Nov 3rd, 2017 10:47 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Sure. As a parent, I worry about my kids. As a son, I worry about my mom. As a husband, I worry about my wife. But I think most of us who have families worry about them for their safety, well being, and success and happiness.

Do I worry about global warming, the world's problems, who's gonna win the big game, etc. etc.? Nope.

And, as you know, worrying is, for the most part pointless, especially for the things that are out of our control (which is pretty much everything if we're really honest with ourselves).

Well, crap, now you've got me worried...

Roly
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Whitehorse Canada

I don't get out much
Nov 4th, 2017 01:13 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Fine question Larry.

I am constantly concerned about my efforts as a tech, despite the fact that I always get compliments about my work.
I no longer play because I worry about clams, I think I am letting my friends down when I make playing errors.
Seems that you do not have any self confidence issues.
That's not the case with me....so....I may be going off on a tangent...sorry if that's the case.
Perhaps it's still relevant.
Worrying is worrying, despite the cause.That's how I see it.
Bet I can out worry you...:>)

ECS-3
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USA / Virginia

Nov 4th, 2017 03:19 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I don't worry nearly as much as I used to.

Attorneys aren't the only ones with professional worry syndrome. My profession was engineering and when engineering disasters happen people die.

Leftee
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VA

Fear the Klinkhammer
Nov 4th, 2017 03:33 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I have that trait. And I come across it honestly. My mom was riddled with anxiety. And I can struggle with it too. Just like you describe, Larry.

I've done a lot of work in recent years to "fix" this. Things are *much* different for me now. But I still know it's there.

And yes, there is a heavy price. Often it is a silent burden.

windmill
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Australia

older,better
Nov 4th, 2017 06:29 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I'm with Larry,what he has written sums up my life.

I worry, as they say, mainly about things that never happen. :)










Pinetree
Moderator Emeritus
(with many stars)

NW Pennsylvania

Nov 4th, 2017 06:43 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Nope.





Gato
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Southern Calif

Nov 4th, 2017 06:55 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I was waiting at a traffic light the other day when my faithful 51 year old bug hiccuped. Just one little anomalous pfffffft among all the engine clatter.

This got me to thinking about everything that has to go right, every second ... coil gathers charge, points engage as distributor lobe opens them to the exact distance, before dropping them, as rotor allows the spark to link to the designated spark plug wire, which carries the spark to the plug, which then lights the compressed mixture of gasoline and oxygen in the cylinder at the exact moment that the intake and exhaust valves close ..... the explosion then forcing the piston down, turning the crankshaft, which clears the other moving parts by a few thousandths of an inch ....

What could possibly go wrong as this cycle repeats several thousand times per minute?

But that's nothing compared to the early morning stare-at-the-ceiling moment, when my heart goes:
lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub, lub...............dub ... whut the ....lub-dub, lub-dub (did my heart just misfire? Let's check that pulse .... hmmmm can't find it .... how about here ....... nope ..... Ok, got it. Is it too fast? Too slow? Why am I doing this again?)

Next category: did I put water in the Mr. Coffee last night .......?

littleuch
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Florida

I'm not as clever as my dog thinks
Nov 4th, 2017 06:56 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

When I moved down to Florida almost 4 years ago, I had just left a job of 34 years. The last 20 programmed me to strategize for worse case scenarios and try to stay steps ahead of chaos. I know it sounds crazy for a service organization job but since then I have spoken with a number of ex employees who have brought up the same points. One volunteered a thought I dared not to mention because of shame; "it's almost like a form of PTSD" said he.

When you're running fast on the treadmill and have convinced yourself lions are chasing you, it takes some processes to get your breath and legs back when you jump off. It also takes some time to realize you created the lions.

The strategizing for worst case scenarios is effective, but a miserable way to live and keep perspective. I think I knew this when I was in deep hand wringing mode over job, family and finances, but could find no way out.

Find peace where you can. We all eventually reach the inevitable bookmarkers in the story of our lives. It truly makes no sense to toil through the pages in between.

mfitz804
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Staten Island, NY

Our resident rational liberal
Nov 4th, 2017 06:58 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

“I freely admit I worry all the time.

Part of it is my profession--I'm an attorney---and therefore programmed to imagine worst case scenarios in order to protect my clients.”

Right there with you. Do you get the 3AM, did I forget to file XYZ on time? Happens to me at least weekly.

I’m incredibly stressed virtually all the time. I take a lot on my shoulders and there’s no question it keeps me up nights.

hushnel
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North Florida

A Friend of Bill W.
Nov 4th, 2017 07:13 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I don't really worry about stuff as much as I apply a kind of risk assessment to situations. My wife thinks I am pessimistic but it is not the case.

An example; she came back from the Bahamas earlier this year and was all excited about this Owl feather she found and brought back with her. I should have just kept my mouth shut but I thought she should know that it's a pretty stiff fine for possessing one in the US not to mention smuggling one through customs.

I managed to calm her down by explaining that I'm simply weighing the consequences of actions. Not pessimistic but everything has a plus and minus that I like to be aware of. I asked her why do you wear a life vest when kayaking do you expect your going to drown? No, it's just risk managment, another kind of awareness, not pessimism. Yeah, I do consider how many ways things can go wrong vs how positive the experience will be, I still ride a motorcycle.

While canoeing she says oh look a beautiful little sand beach. Let's pull over for a bit, I'll say OK but maybe we should try to run those water moccasins off before we get out of the boat. Old pessimistic me "o)

I'm out here on the Farm by myself, if I screw up it'll be weeks before anyone finds me. I've learned how to ask for help, when needed.

BlondeStrat
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Las Vegas NV

Can't complain but sometimes I still do
Nov 4th, 2017 07:24 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

“Worry is nothing more or less than negative goal setting.”

... Ed Foreman

champster
Contributing Member
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Oceanside, CA

Nov 4th, 2017 07:25 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

At my age now I really don't give a darn. Worry, why bother? Worry doen't solve anything.

TheProfessor
Contributing Member
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MI

After 30 years, I should play better.
Nov 4th, 2017 07:28 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

No. But I am always strategizing and planning about three moves ahead to counter negative situations and interactions.

jhawkr
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Wichita, KS USA

It's all gravy from here on...
Nov 4th, 2017 07:37 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I worry. It sucks. It's stressful. It takes time off your life. Telling someone who worries about stuff not to worry is an exercise in futility. Wadda-ya-gonna-do?



Modbus

USA

Nov 4th, 2017 08:36 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic


Men At Work - Overkill

rok-a-bill-e
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Nashville,USA

Clawhammer Rules!
Nov 4th, 2017 08:48 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Yes, when I have reason to worry, I worry a lot. When I quit my job, took out a loan, and started a business I had many a sleepless night wondering if I had bankrupted my family. And when the recession hit I would be up all night worrying about making payroll, or thinking about how I was going to have to lay people off. I have spent the last few years of my life eliminating reasons to worry, and I'm getting better about it. But I'm not a perpetual worrier like my Mom, who seemed to look for things to worry about and went straight from one worry to another.

BbendFender
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American Patriot

About as ordinary as you can get.
Nov 4th, 2017 08:59 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I think I worry some but not all the time. Since we are making a big move I worry about the details of getting everything relocated. I'm in good health so I don't worry about that. So is my wife. I worry more about political things and our country coming apart from the inside more than I do about large foreign attacks.

FlyonNylon
Contributing Member
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East Tennessee

Nov 4th, 2017 09:00 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

No.

I'm in a high risk profession as well. One of my partners used to worry a lot about discharged patients and ended up having to see someone and go on meds. I certainly follow up on things appropriately and involve myself as needed, but generally don't worry about things outside my control.

Do the best you can, let the chips fall as they may.

JAFO
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Hemet, SoCal

I detect the El Supremo
Nov 4th, 2017 09:02 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I worry about the overall welfare of my family. Other than that, I don't worry as much as I should, such as health issues, world events, etc. What's gonna happen is gonna happen with or without me fretting over it.

(This message was last edited by JAFO at 11:04 AM, Nov 4th, 2017)

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FDP Forum / Moe's Tavern (_8^(I) / survey--do you worry all the time?




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