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FDP Forum / Moe's Tavern (_8^(I) / Settle this dispute!!

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mfitz804
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Staten Island, NY

Godzilla the Thread Killa
Sep 6th, 2017 05:15 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Not going to say which side I fall on until later.

Child brings a CD booklet with 8 or 10 of their favorite movies on a plane. Movies are of utmost importance, prized possessions.

At some point, it is realized the DVDs are lost. Inquiries with the airport, airline, etc. are unsuccessful.

Parent #1 says too bad, you should have taken care of your stuff, save your money, ask for them for Christmas, etc.

Parent #2 feels bad and wants to replace them without waiting.

Child is a good kid, has lost/damaged stuff before and has been required to use "their own money" to replace the items. But also, asks friends to bring donations to a charity to their birthday party instead of gifts, and spent the last 3 weeks of summer making/selling Rainbow Loom bracelets to benefit the sick child of a friend (raised over $200, their own idea).

What's the FDP thought on "the right thing to do"?

MJB
Contributing Member
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Who's we sucka?

Smith, Wesson and me.
Sep 6th, 2017 05:20 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

50/50 split.

Hammond101
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So. Cal. USA

Sep 6th, 2017 05:24 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

This is dependent on the age of the child and if they are at such an age they can keep track of such items on the flight. Could the parents have expected too much if the child is not a frequent traveler or too young to keep track of the CD/DVDs?

Kids will be kids. I'd be inclined to give him/her a hall pass on this one personally.

mfitz804
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Staten Island, NY

Godzilla the Thread Killa
Sep 6th, 2017 05:33 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Ten years old.

surfdog
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Lakeside, CA

Jim
Sep 6th, 2017 05:38 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Teach them to say I hate it when that happens. Then move on.

Now they have a chance to collect something new.



j!mi
Contributing Member
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NNJ

and meanwhile, I'm still thinkin' . . .
Sep 6th, 2017 05:49 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Man, get with the program. You start a "Go Fund Me" page.

mfitz804
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Staten Island, NY

Godzilla the Thread Killa
Sep 6th, 2017 05:56 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I decline your offer to contribute. Send it to the FDP instead!!

:)

Peegoo
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Creed

Clearwaterrrrr Revival
Sep 6th, 2017 07:22 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I would leave it as a lesson in making sure the child doesn't leave their stuff somewhere.

Call me a hard arse, but this lesson will go FAR because

(1) it's a significant emotional event for the child,

(2) it reinforces the value of 'things' and demonstrates how a little complacency can lead to undesirable consequences, and

(3) there's no emergency parachute; there's no guaranteed replacement--no charity. In the grand scheme of things, DVDs are not that important. What is important is being responsible. Ten years of age is plenty old to understand this stuff.

Replace the DVDs and the child will grow into an adult that expects bailouts to continue.

My parents were very strict with us kids in situations like this (we were not happy about it at the time), but now all three of us are smart with money because we learned very early the value of things, the value of money, and how acting in a responsible manner leads to greater happiness.

Leftee
Contributing Member
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VA

One foot on the brake, one on the GAS
Sep 6th, 2017 08:37 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I'm with Mr. Goo on this one.

Steve M
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USA

Sep 6th, 2017 08:44 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Replace the DVD's after reaching an agreement about working off an agreed upon amount of the replacement cost and make sure the time and work are out in.



RufusTeleStrat

San Diego

Land of Sea, home of the Waves
Sep 6th, 2017 09:23 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Get them a subscription to netflix.

K4
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USA

Fat people are hard to kidnap
Sep 6th, 2017 10:13 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Mr Goo nails it and is how I raised my kids.

They all hated me when they were teenagers, but now thank me as adults, with kids of their own.

Modbus

USA

Sep 7th, 2017 06:10 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I must be a softie, but I'd help the kid out.

Sometimes "stuff" happens, and who knows, the loss of the DVDs may not have been due to any real negligence of the part of the kid. They could have been stolen, accidentally picked up by another passenger, sucked into a time vortex, ...

As long as you can tell that the kid did learn something from the experience, I'd give him/her a do-over one time, with the expectation that if it happens again then it's their loss.

Mikeyguitar
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PA - USA

THAT...IS...RIGHT!
Sep 7th, 2017 06:23 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

I also go along with the Goo-man.
Maybe throw him a bone (get him 1 DVD) in the next couple of weeks.
But yeah, let this be a YUGE learning opportunity.

mfitz804
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Staten Island, NY

Godzilla the Thread Killa
Sep 7th, 2017 08:02 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Ok, answer time.

I'm the softie, I'm replacing the DVDs.

At the EXACT MOMENT it was determined they were lost, she apologized and started making a list of what she lost, with the plan to replace them herself whenever she comes into money (she's 10, so that means holidays/birthdays usually).

Never once did she ask us to replace them, even though I know it's killing her. Like I said, she's lost stuff or damaged stuff before and we've made her replace them, and I feel like obviously she's learned that lesson because she has zero expectation that they will be replaced.

On the one hand, I want her to know her actions have consequences. I feel like she has demonstrated she knows that. So much so that it impressed me, and I makes me more than happy to help her out. While she has to fend for herself at times, I also want her to know I have her back when she "needs" me, granted it's just DVDs but to a 10 year old movie buff, this loss was catastrophic.

I was able to find all of them on eBay, new or slightly used,for $35. I'm satisfied with that.

But, when they arrive and I give them to her, I plan on making sure she knows it's a one shot deal, next time something like this happens, it's all on her like usual.



Modbus

USA

Sep 7th, 2017 08:14 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

FWIW, I think you did right.

jhawkr
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Wichita, KS USA

It's all gravy from here on...
Sep 7th, 2017 08:16 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

As long as she knows it isn't "owed" to her, I see no harm in daddy being a knight to the rescue. I'd do it for my granddaughters.

NoSoapRadio
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Mass., Amerika

CO2 ... is there anything it can't do?
Sep 7th, 2017 08:31 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

A) I knew you were the softie.

B) FWIW, I *don't* think you did the right thing (but I probably would have done the same for my daughters).

C) I hope these are at least good movies that she is so attached to.

mfitz804
Contributing Member
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Staten Island, NY

Godzilla the Thread Killa
Sep 7th, 2017 09:10 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

A) Yeah I tried to hide it, but that was pretty obvious. I've been the hard ass a number of times on this same issue, not sure why I went the other way on it, probably because she took responsibility for it and didn't expect it.

B) I'm not sure I did the right thing at all. My wife disagreed with me and as we know, wives are always right. But I did what made me happy, and what will make my daughter happy, so I am satisfied with that.

C) No, they are all torture to adults. But they are pure gold to a 10 year old!! In fairness, the crap she watched when she was younger was WAY worse. She enjoys Back to the Future (not one of the movies lost), which is really all I could of asked out of having a kid.

RKSTRAT
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USA

"Clapton is Good"
Sep 7th, 2017 10:06 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

When I was a kid, my father bought me a baseball.
It was a prized possession and seemed expensive at the time.
I took it to baseball practice. It rolled into the bushes and a
dog ran after it. The dog then quickly chewed the cover off of it. I wasn't bought a replacement and I remember it to this day.
It wasn't my fault.....but no replacement was offered.

Sound like you did the right thing.

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FDP Forum / Moe's Tavern (_8^(I) / Settle this dispute!!




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