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FDP Forum / Tin Pan Alley - Songwriting / Senorita Do You Like My Gun ?

Slimlefttown

Canada

Dec 25th, 2014 06:20 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

What ...no songwriters been posting since November ?
Well here's one of mine to get the ball rolling again
Critics welcome.
Thank you
Slim

(This message was last edited by Slimlefttown at 10:01 PM, Dec 25th, 2014)

Slimlefttown

Canada

Dec 25th, 2014 07:00 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Sorry link not working.
Trying to fix it.
Slim

Slimlefttown

Canada

Dec 25th, 2014 07:03 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Link Test // ok working // enjoy
Slim

External link

(This message was last edited by Slimlefttown at 09:05 PM, Dec 25th, 2014)

tiller2
Contributing Member
********

Washington DC

Dec 26th, 2014 07:40 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Good singing and guitar playing, Slim. The guitar licks sometimes compete with the song, but at other times weave in and out nicely; great tone, too.

As for the song, the sexual references are a bit bold, or bald, for my taste. YMMV. Contrast the Beatles' "Happiness Is a Warm Gun," which was subtle enough that people could play it unblushingly in public, yet there was plenty of naughty innuendo.

So, I'd make the lyrics more sneaky, so it could have a clean read. Free to ignore my opinion, and thanks for revving up "Tin Pan Alley."

Slimlefttown

Canada

Dec 26th, 2014 11:32 PM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

Thank you Tiller and you're right on all points i.e. the guitar does compete in places, the lyrics are bald ( I'm afraid they are meant to be)song practically wrote itself. parental discretion advised.
My pleasure. Tin Pan Alley needs to be bursting.
It's not everyone who can write, shall we say, good songs, but those of us that do should be just as active as the guitar players.

ninworks
Contributing Member
*

Arizona

Too Much GAS
Dec 27th, 2014 04:55 AM   Edit   Profile   Print Topic   Search Topic

A good effort Slim. I agree with tiller2 about the guitars competing in places. Clever lyrics and a good melody though.

I agree with you about this forum not getting enough action but, there are many songs that get posted over in the Home Recording forum. I tend to post mine there because they seem to get more interest. I think a lot of it has to do with there are not many active songwriters here at the FDP. Most of the guitarists here seem to be more focused on playing cover songs and there's nothing wrong with that. Whatever makes you happy. There are, most certainly, better players than myself here.

Writing songs is what really floats my boat. By the same token, performing and recording them, for me, is a big part of it also.

FDP Forum / Tin Pan Alley - Songwriting / Senorita Do You Like My Gun ?




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